Breaking: Kanye West Netiquette Violation

Avid reader David Orr was perusing a web log, or "blog", recently, and found a major netiquette violation by a prominent blogger. The message reproduced below was submitted to the popular Perez Hilton Blog by Mr. Kanye West, a well-known internet personality. In his e-mail to us, David rightly bemoaned Mr. West's unfamiliarity with Salzman and Pondiscio's classic rules of netiquette.

"THIS IS MY LAST DAY IN PARIS AND IT'S BEEN CRAZY. I'VE MET SO MANY DOPE PEOPLE. I FEEL SO INSPIRED BY THE TRIP… I'VE BEEN THINKING OF RAPS, BEATS, CLOTHES, VIDEOS ,STAGE DESIGNS AND PHILOSOPHIES … I ALWAYS FEEL MY BEST WORK IS MY NEXT WORK… I'VE MADE SOME GOOD CHOICES AND SOME MISTAKES… I'VE BEEN LOVED AND HATED…. I'VE BEEN HAILED AND RIDICULED… I'VE BEEN INVITED TO SHOWS AND AS USUAL ASKED NOT TO COME… I'VE BEEN ATTACKED FOR BEING ME… FOR BEING BRIGHT RED IN A GREY WORLD…. I AM NUCLEAR ENERGY… WHEN ENCAPSULATED IN AN IDEA OR BOX LIKE A STAGE OR SHOE DESIGN I CREATE MAGIC… WHEN LEFT FREE SOMETIMES I BURN THINGS… IT'S THE NATURE OF A TRUE ARTIST… I AM NOT PERFECT AND I WILL NEVER BE WHAT I WAS TAUGHT MY WHOLE LIFE AND THAT WAS TO BE "CHRIST LIKE"… I'M FINE WITH JUST BEING THE BEST ME! I ACCEPT AND TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR MY MISTAKES AND LEARN FROM THEM. I WILL NEVER ATTACK NEGATIVE PEOPLE AND THEIR ENERGY…I FORGIVE THEM FOR THEY DON'T THINK FOR THEMSELVES BUT MERELY BASE THEIR OPINIONS ON WHAT THEY WERE TAUGHT. LIFE IS A GAME! IF EVERYONE UNDERSTOOD WHAT I WAS DOING WHEN I WAS DOING IT THERE WOULD BE NO CHALLENGE THEREFORE NO GAME. IT IS THE CRACK IN THE WALL THAT ALLOWS LIGHT TO SHINE THROUGH… SOOO THANK YOU SENSATIONAL NEWS REPORTERS … THANK YOU GOSSIP SITES… THANK YOU BARBER SHOPS… THANK YOU TO ANYONE WHO THRIVES ON THE DOWNFALL OF OTHERS FOR I WILL NOT FALL!!! YOUR PESSIMISM IS MY POWER… YOUR PRESUMPTIONS LEAD TO MY REDEMPTIONS … I DON'T LIKE THE OBVIOUS… I LIKE THE TENSION… I LIVE FOR THE FIGHT… I AM A SOLDIER OF FREE THOUGHT IN A CLOSED MINDED WORLD AND I AM READY FOR WAR… I HAVE LOST EVERYTHING SO I AM FEARLESS … YOU OBVIOUSLY DON'T KNOW WHO YOU'RE UP AGAINST… I WILL SPARK A GENERATION OF THINKERS WHO WILL QUESTION TRADITIONAL THOUGHT UNTIL THEY FIND THE ABSOLUTE TRUTH. THANK YOU FOR GIVING ME SOMEONE TO PROVE WRONG AS I HAVE DONE FOR MY ENTIRE LIFE… YOU FEEL THE WORLD WILL NEVER CHANGE.. YOU FEEL MISERY IS THE ONLY COMPANY… AND I AM HERE TO PROVE YOU ALL WRONG… (I'LL GIVE THE SECRET TO MY DEMISE FOR ALL THAT WISH I WOULD JUST DROP DEAD…. ACCEPTANCE!!… IF YOU COULD FINISH MY SENTENCES THERE WOULD BE NO REASON TO START THEM. ) THANK YOU PARIS ONCE AGAIN FOR ALLOWING ME ACCESS TO THE GREATEST ARTISTS AND DESIGNERS THIS EARTH HAS TO OFFER… THANK YOU FOR THE INVITATION BECAUSE GENIUS LOVES COMPANY"

Salzman and Pondiscio on "Netiquette"

Attention Net vets: I was recently reviewing Marion Salzman and Robert Pondiscio's definitive text, The Ultimate On-Line Homework Helper (1996), when I stumbled upon a classic passage. Electronic Communication veterans are sure to remember the duo's remarkable segment on "Road Rules and Netiquette." I found the chapter to be so enlightening as to justify reproduction below, with only slight abridgement.


If you are new to cyberspace, there are a few commonsense rules of the road you need to know. There are also some informal rules about how to behave online, known as "netiquette," short for "Internet etiquette."

Following the rules of the road is important. That's because the so-called information superhighway isn't really a highway at all. As we've discussed, it's really more like a city-- several cities. Several big crowded cities. Several big crowded cities where people buzz around and bump into one another a lot. That means there are bound to be people stepping on one another's toes. Or worse. People get into arguments in the real world, often accompanied by nasty language and colorful hand gestures. And the same is sometimes true in cyberspace. Well, maybe not the hand gestures.

As long as people have opinions and sensitivities, there will be disagreements. But there are a few commonly agreed upon standards of behavior online that make it a little easier for everyone to get along together. These rules are known as netiquette. Here are a few basic dos and don'ts to remember.

Don't: Use foul language. Swearing in a chat room or on a message board is rude, crude, and a surefire way to lose your online account.

Don't: Type in ALL CAPS. This is one of the most common newbie mistakes. Typing online with your caps lock key down is considered SHOUTING online.

Do: Remember People's Feelings. It's sometimes easy to forget that there's a real person typing at you on your screen. If you find yourself in a disagreement with someone online, do it with courtesy and respect for their feelings.

Do: Be Helpful. One of the things that makes being online special is what some Net vets call "virtual community." That means neighbors help neighbors. If you meet someone online who has questions and you know the answers, help him or her out. That way, they'll be more likely to help you when you need it. Just remember the old saying: What goes around comes around.

Don't: Be a jerk. This should be the easiest one to remember. Despite the rules of netiquette, there are too many people online who are rude, crude, dominate message boards and chat rooms, and generally make life unpleasant for everyone around them. Don't be one of them.

Facebook Status Updates

Our last post was a letter from an avid reader who suggested using a Facebook "status update" in order to concisely communicate with a large number of e-friends. We thought that the suggestion occasioned a more robust analysis of status updates generally.

There is no one rule to govern the etiquette of the status update. Status updates can be delineated into several categories; most categories can be used appropriately, despite some caveats. Below, you'll find some Dos and Don'ts for each category, as well as examples of REAL status updates from our facebook feeds (some names modified for privacy).




The Literal Status Update

Literal status updates are essentially self-explanatory. They alert other users to one's physical state at the time of posting.

Do: Briefly describe your current situation.

John is going to lunch.

Matthew is flying across oceans.

Don't: Whine about what you're doing, or give your readers information that might make them uncomfortable.

Leandra is working in Evanston today. Leandra hates working in Evanston.

Whitney is yelling at her husband for messing with her facebook.

Ted just had the hardest doctor's appointment with Karston yet. he was crying so hard, i was crying too! he's not a fan of the doctors.


The Emotional Status Update

The emotional status update tells your e-friends something about your current emotional state.

Do: Express non-controversial affection or exasperation.

Jill loves turtles!!

Latisha is glad she stood up for herself.

Don't: Express anything too intimate or confrontational.

Sherilyn is I am actually looking forward to my workout today... What has my husband done to me?

Helen is happy to not be on the phone with poison control anymore!

Katie is relieved to see she'll be getting paid three times this month.


The Referential Status Update

Referential status updates "refer" to pop culture sources.

Do: Pay homage to a universally recognizable song, movie, or book.

Aaron is watching American Idol . . .

Beatrice is Celebrate Good Times Come on...

Don't: Refer to anything embarrassing or obscure

Alfred is schmokin.

Jared Just ordered Citizen Cope tickets...listening to him as i ordered them has really got me super excited for the show.


The Jocular Status Update

The purpose of a jocular status update is simple: to make your e-friends laugh. Jocular status updates can come in a variety of forms.

Do: Indulge a tasteful joke well-suited to the medium.

Soma Coffee wants to make you a smoothie now that there's a heatwave!
*This was posted on an unseasonably warm winter day. -Ed

Don't: Leave your friends groaning, or feeling awkward.

Amanda thinks that her Secured Transactions case book is both schizophrenic and overly obsessed with Wisconsin.

Caroline Doesn't want to look at her data anymore. It's just making her sad.


The Political Status Update

Political status updates reference the news and current political events.

Do: Make a short observation about relevant, national news.

Matthew wonders if Ted Stevens will get pardoned today.

Don't: Fly off the handle about controversial political affairs.

JayCee thinks it is interesting that Mr. Bush "kept America safe." What about 9/11, the beheaded journalists, and the dead American soldiers?

Michelle is decidely pessimistic about the future of the nation-state... but glad bush is gone. at least there is that. thank goddess.

Maria esta emocionada y orgullosa. tenemos esperanza ; tenemos un nuevo lider- Barack Hussein Obama!!!!!


The Verbiose Status Update

Verbiose status updates simply try to express too much information through a limited medium.

Don't: Ordinarily write multi-sentence status updates.

Joseph is predicting the reds AAA team to have the best AAA season in the history of baseball. Translating to a 2010 World Series championship.


The Nonsensical Status Update

Some bad status updates just can't don't make sense.

Don't: Confuse your e-friends with incomprehensible language.

Erika iZ LiK D0NT TAlK BeHiNDS BACKS CUZ TH3Y D0NT TALK BACK; FACES D0.

Jessie is wearing her full tard for fridau! no jokn.

Tyrese Is your cold as the winter wind when it breeze yo. Did you really think they would kick me out?

Birthday Boggler Reply

Apparently, one of our readers took it upon themselves to expand upon our response to Jared's inquiry (see: Birthday Boggler). If I knew all the answers, I reckon I would just start my own blog about interpersonal electronic communication. Regardless, in the interest of providing a broader perspective to our readers, the email we received is provided below.

WARNING: The following interpersonal electronic communication advice is not provided or sanctioned by IECW. The views expressed hereafter do not necessarily reflect those of the editors.

Dear IECW,

As an avid reader of IECW since its very inception, I would like to suggest another possible response by Jared to his IECC (interpersonal electronic communication conundrum!). Although I agree whole-heartedly that a post by Jared on his own wall indicating gratefulness for all the Happy Birthday wishes would without a doubt be egregiously uncouth, I do believe that posting his thankfulness in his status bar would be a most acceptable response to the situation. For purposes of an exemplar, I might recommend, "Thanks for all the happy birthday wishes!"

Sincerely,

Avid Reader

Birthday Boggler

Hello, and thank you for tuning in to IECW. We were delighted to receive a question from Jared, and decided to dedicate our first substantive post to his quagmire. Jared's query pertains to Facebook, a social networking site. Ironically enough, his problem started with what most would consider a blessing:

"It was recently my birthday and 26 people wrote on my internet wall with some form of the phrase "Happy Birthday."

Good graces, 26 people? I'm surprised that Mr. Popular didn't have someone else to ask! Jared goes on:

"This was very nice of them and I appreciate the kind words, but what do I do now? If these people had wished me a happy birthday while running into them at the grocery store I would have promptly said, "Why, thank you!" But, in this case, I log into a computer and get all of these messages at once and I don't really want to write back "Why, thank you!" 26 times..."

So, what is Jared to do? Faced by an unmanageable number of online well-wishers, should he be held to traditional rules of etiquette? How might he use interpersonal electronic communication to make his task a little easier?

The ever-ambiguous interplay of recognition and gratitude, particularly regarding wall-post sentiments, is an extremely challenging issue in the interpersonal electronic communications world. Moreover, the "happy birthday" wall post is both a common and especially befuddling scenario. For some members of social networks (especially those who have more friends than they know what to do with!), it is difficult to keep track of all the friendly wishes on your special day.

We here at IECW would suggest that you choose a response plan, and stick to it! If you feel capable of adressing an overabundance of birthday messages on your "wall," then feel free to respond to the posts by choosing to click the "write on 'so-and-so's' wall" button. You can subsequently fill in that text box with a polite extension of thanks to your internet friend.

But what if, like Jared, you find that you don't have time to acknowledge all of your friends? Perhaps you are caught up in the day's festivities outside the world of electronic communication. Don't worry! The widely accepted presumption amongst social networkers is that you will not post back. The deluge of messages many persons receive on their birthdays is symptomatic of the many facebook users who we in the IEC identify as "perpetual posters" ("incessant inviters" also exist, but that's another subject). These people are often individuals who you have not spoken to for over 4 years. Additionally, you may have defriended them, felt bad, refriended them, but then later regretted doing so, resulting in another act of defriendation. Regardless, you have the right to deny "perpetual posters" any sort of extended gratitude.

While there are no formal rules of facebook etiquette, we would like to suggest one big no-no in regard to birthday wall posts: DO NOT POST ANY FORM OF GRATITUDE UPON YOUR OWN WALL! Posting on your own wall is absolutely unacceptable, and frankly, it's gauche.

I think that this is a great first question, and allows us to provide an example of how confusing and difficult the world of interpersonal electronic communication truly can be! Please continue to comment or email us with your questions.

Welcome to IECW

Hello everyone! Let me first take this opportunity to thank you for your interest in IECW.

Pro Tip: Electronic communication can often seem more impersonal than traditional communication. This makes being polite, and being sure to put your gratitude into words, extra important on the internet.

Before we dive into the serbonian bog of issues that surround electronic communication, we'd like to introduce the people behind this (serbonian?) blog:

First of all, let me express my profound excitement over the potential of this publication. In a world where much communication takes place through less intuitive channels than the classic “face to face”, IECW promises to provide some much-needed guidance.

Over the many years during which I have communicated electronically, I have developed some areas of expertise that I hope to shed some light on through my contributions here. First, I’ve become a frequent and adept sender of “mass” messages. Although there are no clear rules delineating “mass” messages from other messages with multiple recipients, it’s safe to say that such communication is ordinarily directed at more than “a few” recipients. Additionally, a variety of work experiences (including some mishaps!) have given me the opportunity to learn a few things about professional communication; I hope that sharing some “Don’ts” from my own background will help you to avoid the kind of embarrassment I’ve suffered!

Although electronic communication is my main area of interest, I also breed and train showcats for competition. I am currently raising litters of Turkish Angoras and Norwegian Forest Cats; however, I have previously won CFA blue ribbons for Colorpoint Shorthairs, Japanese Bobtails, and catwalking.

My colleague, Maggie Paino, is an apathetic law student who loathes classroom discussion. She is an interpersonal electronic communication guru specializing in the subject of emotional relationships. In particular, Paino has mastered areas concerning pre-emptive break-ups, guilt-ridden "biggest mistake" post-break up communication, and dismissals that eject former partners in a sarcastic and jabbing yet light-hearted manner. Paino's hobbies include French-braiding and turning down the thermostat solely for the purpose of utilizing her sage green snuggie. She is most well-known for endeavors to acquire carpal tunnel syndrome in hopes of getting disability payments. Paino is also the writer of the blog "She Can't See Without Her Glasses," and is currently working on her screenplay, "Goulash Grapple" (title pending).

I'm sure I speak for both of us when I say that I am sincerely excited to get this blog rolling! You'll hear from me the next time I communicate... electronically.